It was about 6 weeks ago that a series of medical events (also known a the hand of God) came across what appeared to be some enlarged lymph nodes in my abdomen. It was about 3 weeks ago that I received the results of the biopsy indicating that I have Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. A subsequent bone marrow test determined it is stage 4 cancer, involving the bone and bone marrow. But even now I feel just fine. I exhibit no symptoms of the disease, other that perhaps some fatigue, which I attribute more to getting old and out of shape. I am told that the lack of symptoms may well work to my benefit during the rigors of chemotherapy. Time will tell. In the last month or so I have seen enough doctors and endured enough tests to last a life time. And obviously I have worn out my "Google button" researching words I can neither pronounce nor spell. Needless to say it has been a very busy time. And inserted somewhere between the appointments, the tests and falling asleep at night, I attempted to think about my mortality and my spiritual health and well being. The medical aspect of my situation has calmed down considerably and now requires a lesser amount of my time. But if I am honest, a fair amount of work remains between my Lord and me. The other day I was reading something written by another christian cancer patient and it really spoke to me:
"God is our hope and promise. He is in control and He does perform miracles. We are part of His family and He does love us. Even when we are in serious trouble, we do not need to be afraid, but just trust Him. He is concerned about our daily needs, as well as our problems. He can see the big picture and knows what is best for us. We need to rest in Him, obey Him, and seek His will daily through prayer and reading the scriptures. God looks at our hearts. Our problems can bring us closer to God and heal our hearts so we can reflect His light and love to others."
I was born a child of the most high God. And 30+ years ago I accepted him as my Lord and Savior. Over the years I have learned to trust Him, and learned that He will provide for all of my needs. I also know that He created the heavens and the earth, the mountains and the seas, and He created man and woman. I know that this same great and wonderful God has numbered the hairs on my head. There is nothing that I say or do or think that is not known by Him. And I know that in His word it says that He will never leave me or forsake me. I know all of this in my head, and I know much of it in my heart and soul. But what I need to work on now is doing what the writer above says - "...to rest in Him, obey Him and seek His will daily...".
Be with me Lord.
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